Thursday, March 31, 2011

Ft. Lauderdale

Head pounding; equilibrium shot. Everything tastes like limes. Hot, even at night. Despite pleasant appearance, environment is stifling and oppressive. Florida is what would happen if Hell hired the decorator who did Paradise.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Are any Floridians from Florida?  Everyone I've met is a transplant, immigrant, or in thrall of a trade show or The Rodent.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


If you give up anything, give up abstinence for Lent.  There is no greater pleasure to a modern religious person than the self-satisfied bliss that comes from illuminating one's own there is no more worthy affectation to forsake.  I say spend the whole forty days wallowing in your own mortal frailty and moral inconstancy.  Honor no bargain, tend to no other, and deny yourself no pleasure no matter how base or excessive, and then at the end climb down off of the cross and humbly beg your fellow human beings for being such a smugly pious stick in the mud for the other 325 days of the year.