Friday, September 26, 2008

Prone to Penility

In the spirit of progress and political correctness I will no longer consider myself to be insensitive...I am "differently-sensitive", that's all. I am differently-sensitive and differently-sympathetic to the plight of the differently-labeled. I can muster respect, admiration, consideration, and sympathy for people, but I am utterly incapable of considering in any positive light the evangelical zeal with which political correctness diminishes and distances people from their respective challenges.

Much the same way the terms prejudice and discrimination have been subverted into synonyms for bigotry and various -isms, the terminology for disability has been restructured to insure that people's feelings are regarded as more important than the material, the practical, or the functional aspects of their situation. The label can not personify a person, nor can it be used in a vacuum. It requires qualification; "Margaret is a person with a disability", not "Margaret is disabled". They are all "persons with disabilities / differing abilitities / ability distinction", etc, ad nauseum, not "the disabled, the different, or the distinct".

By pointing out the inane, juvenile, attention-whoring, guilt-stroking, self-depricating, victimhood-validating euphamistic bullshit terminology, I am undoubtedly the bad guy...but I can live with it. Weak language and a lack of self respect is why so much progress has been made on the front of discussing disability, and so little progress has been made on addressing disabilites.

I'm not an insensitive dick; I'm a person of different-sensitivity who is prone to penility, and if that's a mouthful, people can choke on it.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The New Epidemic

I would like to direct everyone’s attention to a newly identified threat to civilization, the rise of the “Merch Ho’”. Legions of otherwise decent persons, lured into a den of virtual iniquity by the promise of being able to turn the pastiche of bric-a-brac, commemorative plates, used clothing, and semi-functional electronics that pervades their own lives into an intoxicating blend of money, self-respect, and validation of their own worth (via the acceptance of their discarded hobbies and perversions as being valuable to someone). I’m speaking of eBay addiction – the online plague that is spilling out into our neighborhood markets.

We are told that these tragic figures, these rebel’s without a storefront, will eventually turn to theft and other indignities once their own reserves of meaningless crap are dry. They will begin scavenging the homes of relatives, shoplifting from real retailers (people who rent space to push their wares, as God intended), and performing depravities within airport bathrooms to score merchandise, or “merch”, so they can sell it online and feel complete. Disregarding the value of the items to the square community around them, the auction resale junkie finds that the transaction is the rush, the shipping and handling charges the thrill; it doesn’t even matter what the items are…they are all merch in the end, a mutant form of generic, capitalist, virtual dope of uniform potency that is measured dually in avoirdupois weight and kitschiness.

They must be regulated! They must be stopped! According to brick and mortar retailers, the very future of shopping depends upon it.

What a crock.