Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The New Epidemic

http://techdirt.com/articles/20080923/0232522340.shtml


I would like to direct everyone’s attention to a newly identified threat to civilization, the rise of the “Merch Ho’”. Legions of otherwise decent persons, lured into a den of virtual iniquity by the promise of being able to turn the pastiche of bric-a-brac, commemorative plates, used clothing, and semi-functional electronics that pervades their own lives into an intoxicating blend of money, self-respect, and validation of their own worth (via the acceptance of their discarded hobbies and perversions as being valuable to someone). I’m speaking of eBay addiction – the online plague that is spilling out into our neighborhood markets.

We are told that these tragic figures, these rebel’s without a storefront, will eventually turn to theft and other indignities once their own reserves of meaningless crap are dry. They will begin scavenging the homes of relatives, shoplifting from real retailers (people who rent space to push their wares, as God intended), and performing depravities within airport bathrooms to score merchandise, or “merch”, so they can sell it online and feel complete. Disregarding the value of the items to the square community around them, the auction resale junkie finds that the transaction is the rush, the shipping and handling charges the thrill; it doesn’t even matter what the items are…they are all merch in the end, a mutant form of generic, capitalist, virtual dope of uniform potency that is measured dually in avoirdupois weight and kitschiness.

They must be regulated! They must be stopped! According to brick and mortar retailers, the very future of shopping depends upon it.

What a crock.

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